The War Begins
by Ultima Mage
Summary: When the war begins, which side will Artemis take? It sounds obvious, but it's not! AH in last chapter.
1. The mission

My first Artemis Fowl fic, and I hope it'll be good.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis, Foaly, Holly, Butler, or any characters appearing in the Artemis Fowl series.  
  
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"SHORT!!! GET IN HERE!!!" Needless to say, Commander Root wanted Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon. Holly sighed. She thought they were past "shout at the rookie" stage.  
  
"All right, I'm coming, I'm coming." She said as she entered the Operations Booth.  
  
" I'm afraid that you're going to be a lot more stressed out by the time this breifing is over, Captain." Foaly said worriedly.  
  
" What's up?" Holly asked inquisitively. " Kidnapping? Smuggling? Leaked fairy technology?" She laughed. Artemis jokes were her favorite but she didn't make too many of them.  
  
" Actually, it's worse. We were testing out a new invention, the everlasting time-stop. We mind-wiped the Mud Men involved, and thought our ace-in-the-hole was in a really deep hole and instead of an ace, it was a full house." Foaly said, with just a hint of pride at himself. "But that's when the trouble started." His face turned white. You could tell when Foaly ran out of sarcasm and and started saying things were bad, then they were.  
  
"How? Routine test, and another case of bad figurative language from you." Holly replied, still in her coffee-induced caffeine high.  
  
"The wipes didn't take." Foaly said bluntly.  
  
"What-" Holly's coffee wore off. "Please tell me this was a hippie and therefore noone's been told and I can just block-wipe them."  
  
"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE, BUT A CERTAIN CENTAUR FORGOT TO CHECK THE GUEST LIST!" Root roared, having been a little numb from the news.  
  
"How was I supposed to know that the British Prime Minister was at Stonehenge that day, along with several U.N. ambassadors?" Obviously, that was Foaly.  
  
"So, lemme get this straight. Wipes didn't take, and the governments of 70% of the world know about the fairies? Well, can we make peaceful contact?"  
  
Root calmed down a bit. " With the Mud Men? Are you crazy? They think we're a threat."  
  
Foaly decided to get to the real point. "We need you take this." He said, "It's a anti-wipe. Shoot Fowl with this, get his memories back, pass him an earpiece, come back here, and we'll get you the rest of your mission."  
  
"Do I have to?" Holly whined.  
  
"YES!!!" Root again. "DO IT NOW!"  
  
"Fine. I'll do it." That's what she said. But in her heart she thought, "Why me?" ______________________________________________________________________  
  
Do you like? It gets better as we go along. 


	2. Total Recall I've always wanted to say t...

Sorry it took so long.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.  
  
Radioactive Bubblegum: Yes, full war.   
  
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At the time Artemis Fowl did not know the news, or he would have experienced total recall. In fact, the only people who new were those who had been told by the world leaders personally. The U.N. did not, at the time, wish to release info. Unless the fairies actually proved a threat to mankind, they were perfectly content to send in a team or two, kill everything, and go home. How dangerous could a small species of three-foot-tall faries with a little a little flashy technology be?  
  
You may have thought up millions of different ways the fairies could have reacted. Why not mind-wipe the enemy, making people think that the U.N. had gone crazy? Ironically, what started the war on accident made it actually flare to full blown conflict. Fairies couldn't live in the sun, but with an everlasting time stop they could be on earth 24/7. So the Council decided to activate a planetwide night and start the conquest. The problem with 20 year births? Biologists put a stop to this incredibly fast. Fairies now had over come everything except the Mud Men.   
  
Artemis Fowl was wondering how he could have have put reflective lenses in his eye without knowing it. He also wondered where he got $280,00,000 in his bank account, and an e-mail from Amnesty International, thanking him. Then he saw the IP adress from which the authorization had come from. He recognized it! Somehow, it seemed familiar............There was also the entire load of things about Butler that had changed.  
  
Holly Short was outside Fowl Manor, with her new Neutrino 2700. The good thing about war was you got some decent funding. She saw Fowl. She did not know why, but it almost seemed like he knew. Which he couldn't. Foaly caught Mulch in the act a long time ago. Apparently he was trying to assist Fowl in total recall. Holly took a breath, aimed, and fired.  
  
Artemis was, by the way, sixteen and a half, [A/N: For you, Dragonmaster Kurai] and still single. Not that his parents cared, he drugged them a little bit each night. It made them a little less worried. Suddenly, he felt a dart in his side. "REFLOCNIOE" [A/N: Read it backwards] he said, before finally, his head cleared and he sat up straight. He quickly realized that his sunglasses were his old anti-shield ones. "Holly Short." He said, almost mildly amused. She always got the "Fowl situations"   
  
"Care to come down and drop the gun?" Butler said, having also been hit with an anti-wipe.  
  
"Um," Holly replied, wary of the Sig Sauer that Butler had pointed at her. But then again, he pointed it at everyone, leading to some very scared tollbooth workers who short changed. "I guess so." She came down and said, "Before you say anything, I come here to ask for a favor. Nothing more. Nothing less."  
  
"What is it?" Artemis said inquisitively.  
  
"We've been discovered. Mud Men government. We want you to hold an earpiece. Just keep in touch, and we'll talk again underground."  
  
"Wow. OK."  
  
"Oh, and Artemis?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Don't tell anyone else. Especially not Juliet."  
  
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You like? Then review please! Also, how do you turn off the No Anonymous Reviews button (I'm new) 


	3. Mud Men Make Their Move

Hello, mates. Sorry about the updates! Today, we have a sliced piece of conflict, covered in our thickening plot sauce!  
  
PS: Whenever you see ||, that's Artemis's earpiece. (Holly, Root, Foaly, Regis Philban, etc.) Artemis Fowl was troubled. What could the fairies want? All of a sudden, his earpiece crackled. ||Testing testing. One two three. Trolls cause terrible trouble in a tantrum. ||  
  
"Holly?" Artemis jumped. "When is some one going to tell me what is going on?"  
  
||Hold your swear toads, Mud Boy. ||, Holly smirked in the Ops booth. || Here's the hole thing: An experiment involving an everlasting time stop resulted in the British Prime Minister and his Cabinet retaining fairy memories. We want your help in-|| Holly was quite rudely (not that anyone would notice) interrupted by the doorbell.  
  
"Funny. Our monthly Interpol inspection isn't till next week."  
  
||Are things like that generally told to the ones being inspected? ||  
  
"It is so interesting what the Interpol server passwords are." Artemis's turn to smirk came. "Butler, show our mystery guest in." As Butler did so, he noticed several military stripes on the guest's shirt.  
  
"Salutations, Fowl," were his first words. "I am General Harold Calan of the Global Attack Force. "  
  
||D'arvit. I was afraid of this ||  
  
"Really, General? I have no knowledge of such agency." Artemis replied. And for once it was the truth. "But I know of you. Forty-six successful missions in Operation Iraqi Freedom, I believe? These include the one that captured Saddam Hussein." [A/N: I needed to give this guy a lot of clout. Whether or not Saddam will be captured, I cannot say. This is just something to give him a touch of reputation. And big-headedness.]  
  
"Haven't done your hacking yet today? Anyway, it is a group of the worlds finest armies gathered together to fight fairies."  
  
|| We did not expect this. ||  
  
Artemis was a criminal, and criminals are some of the world's best liars. Still, he found it hard to keep a poker face. "Fairies? I tell you, when I am of voting age, I shall not vote for such crazy people."  
  
"Oh, Fowl, but they are quite stable. Unless the kidnapping, C Cube, and the incident with your father were hallucinations of yours, that is." || We REALLY didn't expect that. D'Arvit, D'Arvit, D'Arvit! ||  
  
Now Artemis was in a bind. He could not escape these questions. "Err," Now he was using nonexistent words. [Actually, the spell checker accepted that.] "Very well. You have me. What do you want and what will I get?"  
  
"Good boy, Fowl. I want you to help our planning. -"  
  
||That's what we want to, by the way. ||  
  
" -And in return you will be allowed six months in which you may do any possible criminal thing, and not be arrested."  
  
Big deal, Artemis thought, I can do that already.  
  
" Oh, and by the way, you may choose three bank accounts and get that much money with no computing power needed."  
  
Now Artemis' brain went wild. Bill Gates. No, all of Microsoft. And Wal- Mart [A/n: Largest retail company]  
  
"Think about it. I'll be back in three days." Calan said as he walked out the door.  
  
"Well, Holly, I'm up for bidding." Artemis said, obviously troubled.  
  
|| Ok, Number 1: We don't kill you. Number 2: We give you a mystery gift. ||  
  
Naughty author! Anyway, exciting new contest!  
  
First reviewer gets a copy of next chapter one-day early! (Please put e- mail in bio)  
  
They also get to name said chapter.  
  
New title ideas also wanted.  
  
Ready, set, Go! 


	4. Old Villains Die Hard

Hi guys! Today I had an idea that changed the way the whole fic is going.  
  
"And this would apply to the Butlers as well?" Artemis asked for the thousandth time.  
  
|| For the thousandth time, Mud Boy, yes! || Holly yelled impatiently.  
  
Harold Calan, on the other hand, was getting ready. Ready for a meeting, a follow-up to one that he had yesterday. He was meeting with a Chicago ex- CEO and tycoon who claimed to know some helpful information.  
  
"So you met with him." Jon Spiro said. It wasn't a question. He was mad. Mad at himself for not realizing the fairies' presence [A/N: I don't need to tell you the incident do I? If so: see Eternity Code.] Mad at Artemis Fowl for. well, just mad.  
  
"Yes. And as it turned out you are correct." Calan replied.  
  
"As I told you I would be."  
  
"Yes, oh, and one more thing. I need to know Artemis' weaknesses, Spiro. You haven't been telling me, but what you know is important!"  
  
"Very well. It will cost you."  
  
Calan leaned forward. "Money is no object."  
  
Actually, the general that every one loves to hate had one more stop on his list that day. It happened to be very hard to get to as well.  
  
"Right, men. We know only two things: A) Our enemy is small in number. B) Our enemy is small in stature. Now, move!" Calan commanded his troops. They were taking chute E63, estimated by GAF scientists to be right above the fairy prison, Howler's Peak.  
  
"The Mud Men! Load weapons!" a security guard yelled as he saw the troops. Some shooting, leaving three of Calan's troops comatose for the next ten hours. However, numbers won and they broke through to the prison. All he had to do now was check the registry. Unluckily enough for the fairies, it had an English voice-over. He quickly made his way to a cell, his neck tensing up as he ran towards the cell of Opal Koboi.  
  
"Let me guess, you want some fairy technology, and maybe some fairy power?" Opal sighed. She'd been expecting this.  
  
"Yeah, you've had enough dealings with goblins to recruit more surely? Can't you tell them that it was that other one - Cudgeon, was it? - That betrayed them?"  
  
"Perhaps," She replied, thinking about all the ways this could turn favorable. " I will require some.. Persuasive funds."  
  
Calan sighed. He hoped this wasn't coming out of his salary. "Money is no object." He said it less convincingly this time.  
  
After a bit of Gnommish shouting, the goblins seemed willing to participate. It never occurred to either Opal or Calan that they could rebel against them again.  
  
No review contest this week, I decided that it was too easy to cheat on.  
  
Title wanted. Really bad.  
  
And Radioactive Bubblegum won during the last one.  
  
Also, while I can't make this fic totally interactive, I don't mind ideas.  
  
We will return to Artemis' dilemma next chapter . 


	5. The Tables Turn

Naughty reviewers! You haven't been nice to me. (  
  
I have decided that this will be thirty chapters, though I can't say whether or not I might put a sequel afterwards.  
  
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Artemis was deep in thought, knowing that his decision would put him in deep as well. Possibly six feet under. He had enough knowledge to know that the sides were equal in power. It seemed that there was one factor that could tip the scales.  
  
Since his rescue from the Mafia, Artemis Fowl Sr. had lost touch with his son. While he had gone straight, he did not enjoy it very much. Often he was putting a toe or two over the line of legality, though he did not allow his son to do the same. He had been gone the day General Calan had come to Fowl Manor, though he suspected something was up.  
  
"Son, we need to talk," Artemis Fowl Senior said to Artemis Fowl Junior.  
  
"Of what, Father?" Artemis Junior said, playing dumb.  
  
"I recently received a phone call from a General Howard Calan. He said hat you were being.uncooperative with him."  
  
"Really? I know no such man." Though Artemis Fowl Junior said it with some of the best false truthfulness known to man, his heart sank behind his face.  
  
"Oh? He claimed to have come to this very house. Apparently, you are being offered riches, and he believes that your resistance to accept may stem from the stirrings of treachery in your mind." However grand a speech this was, both knew it meant, Look, you're trying to help the other side and we know it. Now straighten up and get back on track. "Son, riches is a very, very, rare word, because no one ever gains it legally. Here is your chance! Seize the moment, and Calan said he would add the under of the earth to your prizes. Come now, don't be idiotic! You can have the world at your feet, if you just try to ignore the temptations of another species!"  
  
Artemis couldn't look at his father any longer. He turned away. "Yes, you are right." He was lying, he wasn't sure what was right. He hadn't been sure for a long, long, time.  
  
That night, Artemis heard some movement outside. He assumed it was a stray animal, and would be dispatched of in the morning.  
  
A few minutes later, he felt a sharp jab in his arm. He realized it was a needle, but then things went blurry.  
  
He woke up in a detention cell. It reminded him of being trapped in the Spiro needle. It was quite similar to that same cell, in fact. Calan walked in the room.  
  
"Hello, Arty, I see you're awake. Nice job we did there, with the video polygraph. It's brand new, and we used it to tell that you were lying. And it was all provided by this man right here." Calan pointed to the door. Jon Spiro walked in.  
  
Artemis gasped.  
  
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This chapter dedicated to Lessa3, for the best fanfiction I have ever read. ^__^ 


	6. Interrogate

My muse is back from running away, err, vacation! She really wanted to stay at the hideout, um, hotel. I post more now! ____________________________________________________________________________ __________  
  
Artemis was at a lost for words. This was the fourth time since his fifth birthday. Spiro shouldn't be here. It was madness. Time to annoy people. "Spiro? I was under the impression you're crazy."  
  
This touched a nerve. Spiro pulled a gun and pointed it at Artemis' head. "Give me a reason. Give me a reason not to kill you." Spiro carefully brought the gun down. He pulled a fairy Hardnose laser instead. "How about I give you brain damage and full paralysis?" Uh-oh. Artemis knew no fairies had been captured, so how? "Just in case your thinking about escaping, we have DNA cannons, goblins with these new 'Hardnose' nuclear lasers, shield- proof filters, and everything that I had in the Spiro needle. Want to try and escape?"  
  
Artemis stuttered. If anyone he knew had heard, they'd declared a national holiday. "N-n-no." He stammered.  
  
"Good. It was all provided by a fairy you know-" Artemis froze. Surely not? "-By the name of Opal Koboi." That hit hard. The humans had a taken away many advantages of the fairies.  
  
"How do I know you're not bluffing?" Artemis said with slightly more confidence than he really had. This was very (x737) bad. Unfortunately, he knew Spiro was telling him the truth. And also he knew that grudges could distort a person's judgement. This could be used to his advantages. After all, it wasn't like the People were going to leave him here to die, right? Right?  
  
* * *  
  
Miles below ground, Captain Holly Short was trying to avoid that particular scenario. "How can we let him die?" she asked. "He may not have been your best friend, commander, but he wasn't public enemy #1!"  
  
Root was, remarkably, staying on what the officers called "blood purple mode". "What do you care? I'm not happy with it either, but this is the Council's decision."  
  
"Then I'll change their minds. They can shove their ideas about Artemis being a threat up their" Holly was interrupted by a loud explosion from the firing range. She was on her way out the door.  
  
* * *  
  
Truth be told, Holly wasn't sure why she was during this. Running into Council HQ was not in her normal to-do list. She might've been getting fond of the Mud Boy. Ew. ____________________________________________________________________________ __________  
  
Next chapter: Mulch enters, and Holly faces the Council.  
  
Do I detect a hint of A/H? 


	7. 270,000,000,000 to 1 against

Wow... so long. I guess I owe you guys an apology. I dunno what happened. I especially say sorry to those who were my big reviewers (Rad Gum, etc.)

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Holly was short of breath. She had run to the Council's room, given an impromptu speech, and had obtained permission to rescue Artemis.

"Happy now, captain?" Root was mildly amused at Holly's actions.

"Yes, sir. Now we have another problem. I need fairy power." Holly said. She wasn't sure what to expect after this request.

"Don't worry. I can get you a small team, Short."

"How small are we talking about, _sir_?"

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Artemis knew he was doomed. He was thinking but Spiro had learned. Some sort of machinery was operating very loudly near him. It made meditation impossible, and made Artemis suspect (and rightly so) that it was only used to disrupt his concentration.

He also knew that a plan would not have helped. Short of a meteor hitting the facility that had been set up around him and then leaving him alive, he could not have thought of a way out. And the chances of that are 276,000,000,000 to one against, for those who didn't know.

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Opal Koboi was a fairy who had gone from upper class snob to successful businessfairy to Howler's Peak. She now reflected on the fact that humans would not crush an entire species because of their "morals". Puh-leaze. Humans were not exactly a moral species. But enslaving the fairies, that was something they could do. And that was good. She knew that everyone had his or her own agenda. But she also knew that she was the only fairy on this side of the war, which was being considered a war, even though the only shots fired were those used to free her.

She would take advantage of the postwar situation, revolt, and have the entire planet for a few centuries. If everything went according to plan. And of course, everything would. She would not need any help from goblins that were really useless. No deranged maniacs would plot betrayal. Spiro was an unknown, but not everything was perfect. The two of them had not really gotten along. Spiro, even though he was head of an electronics corporation, was more of a businessman than he was a technological guy. Opal was smarter and able to provide more and better technology. Calan was a planner, a brilliant tactician. Together they would conquer the world. And then she, Opal Koboi, would dispose of them.

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Bud Diggert was watching a suspicious person cross the street and enter a bank in Seattle, Washington, USA. A few minutes later, the man ran out of the bank carrying a sizable amount of money. He would be found unconscious a few days later in an alley, having no idea what happened and certainly having no stolen money.

Actually, Bud Diggert was a private detective. He worked for himself. He found out about crimes, watched someone commit them...and then robbed them. He was living in an average life, as finding out about crimes before they happened was hard. But it helps when you're a kleptomaniac dwarf on the run from the LEP.

Bud's – or rather Mulch Diggums's, as that was his real name – two day head start from LEPrecon had been put to work most effectively. He was caught when he decided to take Artemis's disc back. And even then he managed to bargain. Basically, he threw the disc as far as he could and ran while the LEP went after it. _Idiots, you don't bring in Mulch Diggums with three members of recon, _he had always thought when reflecting on that.

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"Three- three- _three_ fairy team? _Sir?_" Holly had received this news and realized she would be carried out in a body bag with three. But her chances were better than with one. "Who's on it?"

"Well, you, me, and –"the commander grinned "-Chix Verbil. Don't argue. That's all I got, take it or leave it."

"I'll...take it." Holly groaned. Freeing an important hostage with three fairies was hard, but when one of them was playboy Chix Verbil...

Well, I wanted Mulch to have a bigger role in this chapter but it may be a few more chapters.


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